Francis chronicles 1

Francis, you've really done it this time; our camaraderie has been spit on by the goddamn seagulls, and your trousers are wet Francis; yes Francis, I think you've pissed your pants on the way to see me. Just yesterday you licked my slice of bacon and slipped it onto my plate, and today, this day Francis, you've come to tell me you and Dorothy have been had. You've even sucked her toes Francis, jesus. Your letters? Yes, yes I've received your letters. I thought those checks were an effort from you to pay your debts off to me; I mean Francis its been at least 10 years since I gave you that 5,000 for a new car, but I guess the money was for my wife, right Francis? For christ's sake look at me. What, now you're embarrassed you've wet your trousers? What about me Francis? What in heavens name are they going to say about me now that you've done my wife? Look at old Francis Whittier over there, palms in his hands, weeping cause his wife's a loose one. I mean seriously Francis, there's no catholic in me when it comes to forgiving you. The apes need you more than the civilized world does. Okay, fine, run away. I won't be following this time.